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Renée held open the door for me as I entered.Turning to her, "I need to know what's going on, Renée."She pushed the door shut and turned to face me. Looking up into my eyes, she appeared somber. It completely threw me off track for what I learned to expect from her. Concern for her pushed my thoughts aside, and I held out my hand to her. She took it and allowed me to pull her into a gentle embrace. Again, the feel of her body touching mine, at those points where our skin touched, felt so right, so good. It had to be destiny or something, right?"There's so much I have to tell you, but I don't know how." She whispered at my shoulder. Fortunately, the apartment was deathly silent and it allowed me to hear her soft words."What do you mean?"She looked up into my eyes. With the way she was acting I would have expected tears, but there were none. "Some of the stuff I have to tell you won't be much of a shock. But the rest of it..."I had no idea what she meant. Her statement only confused me. In some ways, I should have been more ready for this moment. After all, the last eighteen months had been enough of a rollercoaster to prepare me for today. But still, I didn’t feel ready. Part of me was still pulled back by those tugging tendrils of the memories and feelings I still had for Jill. However much I loved Veronica, however much Jill had hurt and humiliated me, still, I didn’t feel fully sure which way I wanted to turn. Which of the two choices I’d been given I’d finally take? The pain balanced by the echoing words of Jill that she’d give up Malcolm if we could still stay together.For some time, I sat in the car, looking back at the last couple of years. Part of me wondered if this day was in some way may be inevitable. After all, if you roll the dice often enough, one day your luck will surely crap out. And ever since Jill and I had picked up the dice after more than twenty years of a conventional marriage, we seemed to have developed the unerring knack of rolling more.
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